I love to nurture people...bring them a cup of tea, top off their wine glass, put a pillow behind their back, cover them with a cozy afgan. Somewhere along the line I realized that I was doing exactly what my mother, Gladys, used to do to me. But as a child I hated to be fussed over, brushed off her ministrations, protesting, "I'm fine, please leave me alone!"
Sometimes my friends reject my attempts to nurture - so I've learned to stop...but I suffer true anguish when I watch them squirm in discomfort...needing another pillow, needing ME to bring them another pillow. One day, not long ago, I forced myself to NOT offer the nurturing gesture - I just waited for people to ask if they needed something . . . after all, these friends are in their 60's and 70's ...as am I. Surely they would ask if they needed something, or move if they were uncomfortable? ** Then it hit me **
IT IS MY NATURE TO NURTURE!
It is NOT a curse or a flaw!
I wanted to be a nurse when I was little; my dolls were rocked to sleep and gently pampered when ill. My many pets have been combed and brushed daily -and I built soft carpeted shelves and climbing posts for their pleasure.
It gives me joy to entertain guests and make sure everyone feels included and valued.
Why should I feel guilty about a natural part of my personality?
This is who I am.
But wait a minute!
It probably ISN'T THE NURTURING THAT OFFENDS some people...
It is MY INSISTENCE on making them comfortable MY WAY, FUSSING OVER THEM - WHETHER THEY WANT IT OR NOT!
Maybe some folks just don't want to be fussed over - want to be invisible, or just want to figure out how to make themselves comfortable.
So - If you want my nurturing, my pillows, my afgans, my tea and comfort, or a shoulder to lean on...
JUST ASK! I'd be delighted.
If not, that's OK.
I'll pet my cat :)
Just caught up with your blog Dorothy, and love it as usual. I don't know why it didn't show up on my dashboard as usual?
Anyway, I was just wondering why I hadn't heard, so I went looking and found you.
Hope you have had wonderful holidays and are ready for a great 2013.
Posted by: jacki long | January 05, 2013 at 07:16 PM